2025 So Far: Learning to Embrace my Inner Chaos Gremlin

Hey survivors,

Quick life update from the front lines of this corner of this Fallen World (the real one, not the fun fictional version):

February kicked off with the brilliant plan:

“Move from California to Utah → slash living expenses → write more → make more money.”

Reality check ten months later:

✓ Expenses slashed

✗ Income… let’s just say the clown targets aren’t the only thing full of holes right now.

The highlight reel of barely controlled chaos since then:

1. Lived out of a suitcase at my brother’s house for weeks while hunting for a place. Wife stayed in CA with the cats because logistics are hard.

2. Started no fewer than three new novels (one of them the next official Fallen World book with the legend Christopher Woods — yes, really).

3. Co-wrote an entire different novel with AI. The plot is fire. The prose occasionally forgets what tense it’s in. We’re working through our differences.

4. Blew up the website (again), added a real shop, fought printers on three continents, accidentally invented $246 shipping for two pieces of paper, and finally opened the doors so I can sell:

- Cleverly Disguised hats and tops.

- Fun mugs to raise your nerd stats - all original, not retreaded grawlix.

- Evil clown shooting targets in five sizes because therapy is expensive

  - A couple of kid choices because, why not?

5. Learned I genuinely love the creative insanity. The stress? Not so much. But the insanity tastes like gunpowder and possibility, so I’m keeping it.

Here’s the part I don’t usually say out loud:

Work is improving, but it was stupid slow for 8 of the past ten months. I’m not monetized on X, book sales are steady but slow, and the move + new shop have me running on fumes and caffeine. (Wife is still looking for a job.)

I’m not asking for charity (please don’t send GoFundMes, I’ll cry). I’m just telling you the shop is the bridge I’m building while I walk across it. Every tee, mug, or shredded clown target that leaves the warehouse is another week I get to keep writing the stories you actually like.

So if you’ve ever gotten a laugh, a chill, or a “hell yes” from anything I’ve written, and you’ve got $15–$40 burning a hole in your pocket… →

Use code **CLOWNCLUB26** for 15 % off everything, no expiration.

Or just share the link with someone who needs a laugh and a place to put bullet holes.

Either way, thank you for riding shotgun through the chaos.

I’m still here, still writing, plotting and planning to win — one clown at a time.

Stay dangerous (and maybe slightly unhinged),

J.P. Chandler

Professional Chaos Gremlin & full-time dreamer

P.S. Send me photos of your shredded clowns. Best carnage gets a free replacement and eternal bragging rights.